Desiree's reaction to the homeless man was completely unprompted by me. She felt genuine love for that man. To see his situation change. She thought we could share our house with him. It's a beautiful thought. Sharing our house with someone that doesn't have one. I wanted to take this opportunity to share with my daughter that our human nature goes towards wanting to fix the problem rather than trusting God with the situation. Desiree wouldn't understand if I told her that we couldn't share our house with that man because we don't know if we can trust him. She doesn't understand what it means to not trust someone. Rather than teaching her not to trust someone I wanted to teach her to trust in God. I wanted to show her that God is bigger than that man's situation. That the best thing we could be capable of doing for that man was to pray for him! So she did and was it the most beautiful, innocent prayer about a man that was in a lost and desperate situation. She put her whole heart into trusting God that He loved him more than we could ever try to fix his situation.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Teaching to Trust
Desiree's reaction to the homeless man was completely unprompted by me. She felt genuine love for that man. To see his situation change. She thought we could share our house with him. It's a beautiful thought. Sharing our house with someone that doesn't have one. I wanted to take this opportunity to share with my daughter that our human nature goes towards wanting to fix the problem rather than trusting God with the situation. Desiree wouldn't understand if I told her that we couldn't share our house with that man because we don't know if we can trust him. She doesn't understand what it means to not trust someone. Rather than teaching her not to trust someone I wanted to teach her to trust in God. I wanted to show her that God is bigger than that man's situation. That the best thing we could be capable of doing for that man was to pray for him! So she did and was it the most beautiful, innocent prayer about a man that was in a lost and desperate situation. She put her whole heart into trusting God that He loved him more than we could ever try to fix his situation.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Teasing
Ricky loves to be a goof ball, to be a comedian, to make people laugh. It works quite well most of the time however, it also causes a lot of sibling rivalry. Teasing, it's called. I viewed my brother as teasing me a lot. I resented him a lot for it. I thought I just don't want to be bothered by him. The truth of the matter is that when there's siblings there's teasing.
The heart condition is selfishness. At that moment the other sibling decides that they don't want to be bothered by that other person hanging around the house and they choose to lash out. The teasing sibling chooses to ignore how the other sibling is feeling at that moment and continues with whatever action they were doing.
Therefore it cannot just be handled with the other sibling that chooses to get angry with what might seem a minor offense because the teasing sibling is choosing to ignore the offense they created. Both sides of the coin need to be addressed. The teasing sibling needs to see that if they are doing something that is frustrating another they need to stop and find out what the offense is and the other sibling needs to express their feelings with a gentle answer. They both should listen to the other and come to a common ground that works for both.
My desire is to show them how to love their sibling despite their feelings or the actions of the other. Philippians 2:3,4 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
The heart condition is selfishness. At that moment the other sibling decides that they don't want to be bothered by that other person hanging around the house and they choose to lash out. The teasing sibling chooses to ignore how the other sibling is feeling at that moment and continues with whatever action they were doing.
Therefore it cannot just be handled with the other sibling that chooses to get angry with what might seem a minor offense because the teasing sibling is choosing to ignore the offense they created. Both sides of the coin need to be addressed. The teasing sibling needs to see that if they are doing something that is frustrating another they need to stop and find out what the offense is and the other sibling needs to express their feelings with a gentle answer. They both should listen to the other and come to a common ground that works for both.
My desire is to show them how to love their sibling despite their feelings or the actions of the other. Philippians 2:3,4 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
A Gentle Answer
Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
I want to be justified in my anger. I want to make excuses for times when I get frustrated in the moment but the truth is there is no excuse or justification. I know that but in the moment when I choose anger over a gentle answer I set that aside on my "Jesus" Shelf and climb up to the "Me" shelf. The "Me" shelf promotes my impatience and frustration. The "Me" shelf allows me to say to my daughter I'm frustrated that you're not getting this. Just understand that you should do this instead of this. That's not walking with her. That's pointing the finger at her and her sin.
What I desire in the situation is to redirect her to a better thinking. To show her how to apply the love that Jesus gives us to those around her. That means when she doesn't feel like loving her brother because of the actions he's taken that Jesus has asked her to love anyways and to show her how to go about that. I want her to know that even in her feeling mad and angry at her brother that I want to say I love you and desire to be by your side to help you through the situation. I don't want her to feel like I am angry at her because she is failing to love Ricky and chooses to use harsh words instead of a gentle answer. I simply want to show her how to use a gentle answer and the benefits that it reaps instead of a harsh word.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Instruction and Discipline
I've been doing some more reflecting on what it means in Ephesians 6:4 to not provoke my child to anger by the way I treat them but to bring them up with the discipline and instruction of the Lord. You see, I think the biggest misconception people have is what the discipline and instruction of the Lord looks like. I think it's easy to understand the instruction of God. God's laws are layed out in the Bible very clearly and Jesus sums them up in
Matthew 22:37-40 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
God's instructions are to love Him and others. But what about discipline? How does that fit into love? It's hard to understand God's Agape Love. His love is so much bigger than our human minds can fathom. We want to separate Instruction and Discipline. Yet God combines the two into a beautiful combination that is His Agape Love. God Disciplines, He shapes us and molds us into who He wants us to be. But you have to want it. You have to accept that kind of Love. When I begin to listen to that still, small voice I realize that God is calling me with a love and desire that is like nothing I have ever felt. And now as I walk in that Love He is changing me into who He wants me to be so I can Glorify Him now and forever. Okay so how does this relate to training my child in the instruction and discipline of the Lord? Everything!
It means that through the power of the Holy Spirit I can love my children the way God loves me. It means that in those small moments through the day when no one is watching and my child has once again messed up I can bend down and say it's okay I Love you anyways and I'm here to help shape you and mold you into who God wants you to be so that when you're mature enough you can hear God's voice shape you and mold you into who He wants you to be.
Matthew 22:37-40 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
God's instructions are to love Him and others. But what about discipline? How does that fit into love? It's hard to understand God's Agape Love. His love is so much bigger than our human minds can fathom. We want to separate Instruction and Discipline. Yet God combines the two into a beautiful combination that is His Agape Love. God Disciplines, He shapes us and molds us into who He wants us to be. But you have to want it. You have to accept that kind of Love. When I begin to listen to that still, small voice I realize that God is calling me with a love and desire that is like nothing I have ever felt. And now as I walk in that Love He is changing me into who He wants me to be so I can Glorify Him now and forever. Okay so how does this relate to training my child in the instruction and discipline of the Lord? Everything!
It means that through the power of the Holy Spirit I can love my children the way God loves me. It means that in those small moments through the day when no one is watching and my child has once again messed up I can bend down and say it's okay I Love you anyways and I'm here to help shape you and mold you into who God wants you to be so that when you're mature enough you can hear God's voice shape you and mold you into who He wants you to be.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Walking together in their faith!
I've noticed lately about how much I have stressed about doing parenting the right way. I've been trusting in my ability and standards rather than walking in the trust that Jesus will use me to work in my kid's lives. If I trust in my own standards of parenting then I will for sure fail.
The biggest responsibility I feel as a parent is getting to my kid's hearts. I don't want to just correct their behaviors, I want to get down to the core of their feelings behind those behaviors. I want them to understand their feelings and help them pick out the bad ones and understand the good ones. I want to direct their thoughts and behaviors into an understanding of their need for a Savior. And that no matter what they say, think, or do that they will always be loved but also understand the need for correction.
We have been created in the Image of God and He will never leave nor forsake us. God is constant, I am not. That's what I want my kids to understand as they grow. But being able to put all that into a 4 and 5 year old's level seems so daunting to me at times. That I can't do it, that I'll mumble it all up and make them even more confused. But then I have to remind myself that yes, if it was me on my own I would totally mess it up, yet I have the Holy Spirit to lead me and guide me in everything I do. I believe it's taking those baby steps towards understanding who God is, both for myself and for my kids. As my kids grow and understand who God is I want that understanding to come from God because true wisdom comes from God.
Yes, my husband and I will be the primary voice in their life that can lead them to Godly wisdom or away from Godly wisdom but that stress that I feel over this is just me trying to control it rather than trusting God with it. I want to be mindful of these things but not control it. Controlling all that leads to a misunderstanding of who they are in Christ. I want to walk with them as they grow and mature into their faith.
The biggest responsibility I feel as a parent is getting to my kid's hearts. I don't want to just correct their behaviors, I want to get down to the core of their feelings behind those behaviors. I want them to understand their feelings and help them pick out the bad ones and understand the good ones. I want to direct their thoughts and behaviors into an understanding of their need for a Savior. And that no matter what they say, think, or do that they will always be loved but also understand the need for correction.
We have been created in the Image of God and He will never leave nor forsake us. God is constant, I am not. That's what I want my kids to understand as they grow. But being able to put all that into a 4 and 5 year old's level seems so daunting to me at times. That I can't do it, that I'll mumble it all up and make them even more confused. But then I have to remind myself that yes, if it was me on my own I would totally mess it up, yet I have the Holy Spirit to lead me and guide me in everything I do. I believe it's taking those baby steps towards understanding who God is, both for myself and for my kids. As my kids grow and understand who God is I want that understanding to come from God because true wisdom comes from God.
Yes, my husband and I will be the primary voice in their life that can lead them to Godly wisdom or away from Godly wisdom but that stress that I feel over this is just me trying to control it rather than trusting God with it. I want to be mindful of these things but not control it. Controlling all that leads to a misunderstanding of who they are in Christ. I want to walk with them as they grow and mature into their faith.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Speaking Truth
I have been struggling with my response to my kids in a time where everything isn't falling into place. Meaning, we are leaving out the door and Ricky still hasn't got his jacket on. It's like I turn from being nice, calm mommy to raging lunatic mommy. Yes, I have to tell him things over and over again but that doesn't give me permission to lose it on him.
Ricky struggles to follow through with things. Right now things are half done. Yet I look around at my life and look at all the things that are half done. I usually never quite finish getting ready in the mornings, my bed is sort of made, the laundry is washed but not folded. You see it's just a different perspective. A little boy could care less about hanging a jacket up. He thinks, what does it matter mom, I'm just going to put it on again when I leave! And does that jacket on the floor really matter? Honestly, not really. Could I very easily pick it up for him, yes. Could I very easily yell at him for once again not picking it up? Yes! But my goal is not either of those things. My goal is to direct him back to the saving grace of Jesus. How do I do that? Well I don't do it very well, but I'm working on it. You see, the parent to child relationship is very similar to the Heavenly Father to His children relationship. God speaks into our lives, leads us, guides us and it's training us to listen to Him. That's what I want to do with my kids. I want to speak into their lives, lead them, and guide them and train them to listen to me which is preparing them to listen to God. And it's a slow, slow process. And I fail. Daily. Yet God picks me up and says let's try it again. Differently. More patient this time. Seek out that forgiveness with your son. What does it mean Do Not Provoke? In this situation I think it means, once again calmly remind Ricky that he hasn't hung up his jacket properly.
Ricky struggles to follow through with things. Right now things are half done. Yet I look around at my life and look at all the things that are half done. I usually never quite finish getting ready in the mornings, my bed is sort of made, the laundry is washed but not folded. You see it's just a different perspective. A little boy could care less about hanging a jacket up. He thinks, what does it matter mom, I'm just going to put it on again when I leave! And does that jacket on the floor really matter? Honestly, not really. Could I very easily pick it up for him, yes. Could I very easily yell at him for once again not picking it up? Yes! But my goal is not either of those things. My goal is to direct him back to the saving grace of Jesus. How do I do that? Well I don't do it very well, but I'm working on it. You see, the parent to child relationship is very similar to the Heavenly Father to His children relationship. God speaks into our lives, leads us, guides us and it's training us to listen to Him. That's what I want to do with my kids. I want to speak into their lives, lead them, and guide them and train them to listen to me which is preparing them to listen to God. And it's a slow, slow process. And I fail. Daily. Yet God picks me up and says let's try it again. Differently. More patient this time. Seek out that forgiveness with your son. What does it mean Do Not Provoke? In this situation I think it means, once again calmly remind Ricky that he hasn't hung up his jacket properly.
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